January 8, 2014

Mind Crisis

"You are what you think you are"

That quote is true! The environment is one of the most influencing things that shapes our mindset. If I call this syndrome as mid-life crisis, it will be too waaaaay early! I'm still not that old, but sometimes I feel oh my god i am OLD. LOL. Why? Being in this campus as the closest environment of mine and comparing the age gap with my juniors, I realize that I've grown up mentally and physically, and there are things that I've advanced and things that I'm late to learn. Nothing should matter with this. So, why matters? I mention it as mind crisis.

Life. In society, sometimes you are the youngest or you are the oldest. Sometimes you are part of the majority or part of the minority. In office, you may become the youngest staff, but in the college you are part of the seniors circle. I know that I have tendency to be easier talking and connecting with older people, I don't know why. But being here, I learn something nice too, e.g. escaping from comfort zone, socializing with new circle, and coaching my younger juniors. So, again, what matters? Go away mind crisis! :)

I had a weird experience yesterday. Here is the story. Surprisingly, I and my classmate passed as 12 nominees in STAN Next Top Writer. Honestly, I used to think my writings were bad and I had no confidence about them :( But, what becomes problem? I and my classmate were the only advanced diploma students among other 10 juniors. We were shy and suddenly said, "WE ARE OLD". LOL. When all of the nominees were asked to gather to get new writing challenge, we made a consensus.

"You should come with me"

"I don't know. I'll try. I'm shy being there"

"If I am there alone, I have no friend to share this shy feelings!"

And, I chose not to come. I thought it was better to give the opportunity to juniors. The event was not for us. My classmate came there alone and he said, "Dare you. I am here as the OLDEST. In the end of the gathering, we take picture together. I feel like...".

"We are still cute!"

"I know, LOL. But I realize I should throw away that negative feeling. If I don't, I'll lose my chance to learn"

He was true! If we couldn't control our mind crisis, negative image of ourselves, or being childish in this grown-up body, we would have never learned. I thought I was eliminated directly because I didn't come, but I was still allowed to follow next challenge. Thank you committee :)

Yes, what matters? STAY YOUNG AND FEEL CUTE TO THE FULLEST! Be positive and say goodbye to mind crisis!

Postscript: About things that I'm late to learn? Hmmm. I have things-to-learn-before-I-die list. Learning guitar, cooking, and riding bicycle are on my top list. It's quite embarrassing, no? :'( Should I be shy because I can't do that until this age? I shouldn't. I hope I have chance :D

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