February 18, 2014

They Say

They often say, when it seems I am too busy with myself, stare at my notebook, or try to finish the assignment as soon as I can do - with these questions, "What do you do on weekend?", "Do you really enjoy your leisure time?", and "Do you really have boyfriend? Or is he imaginary?"

And I just laugh.

Yes, I am a person who laugh easily and a lot in front of people.

I think I don't have to answer. As if they knew that I have weekend, and however it is, I love weekend. I have pleasure time. And the other reason why I feel to urge myself to do my best or do my responsibility as soon as I can do, except to be grateful and yes, because I have to... the other possible reason is because of him. He motivates me. Everyday. I want to show him and myself that I am getting better as I am getting older. And yes, I can feel it. I am getting better and better. It is wonderful feeling when you start to love yourself more than you used to hate.

And it is the point. Having relationship doesn't mean you have to stop being yourself, or make you go away from your activities and friends. It should be blessed.

If I can finish my responsibility on the track, it means I can do something else waiting... or meet him with calm mind, and not to complicate others when I let my friends wait or hurt because personal interest on the wrong time and place. And, less complaining is another self-respect. Everyone doesn't need to know your problems or the consequences of the life path you choose. So, why should blame others and feel like you have the worst life ever?

And... doing something good is nice. Doing something good is self-respect. Doing something good with happy feeling is super nice.

"But one day I realized. Nobody makes me happy like he does. But nobody ever made me feel like that before…" (Adopted from Meme Proposal)

For everything I have, Thank You Allah. Thank You. Please, bless my heart with strength from fear and sadness.

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