March 9, 2014

Welcome New Fighter!

Today I have mixed feelings.

I went to Depok on the early Sunday morning, wore my favorite dress, and caught the commuter. There would be family gathering held in my aunt's house, and it had been quite long that I didn't meet family. Sometimes I was not confident enough to be there but I should help my aunt and see my grandmother. I told some stories, but not complete ones, sadly. But I thought they were still not ready to push 'OK button' for me to walk upon my choice. It was fine, because helping her, enjoying good food, and looking her smile in her exhausted face made me feel blessed.
 
It was 4.30 pm. I was in a rush to arrive in Palmerah as soon as possible. I stood in commuter and sent some messages to my best friend. She was in Tapaktuan, Aceh. I missed her and I really needed a figure like her to make me calm and understand me. She told me her experience and asked me to stay surrender to Allah. I realized that I had to increase my worship, multiply the alms, and my Dhuha prayers. Maybe I was far from Allah, and I had to trust that Allah loved me. Allah knew the best. I felt better and tried to hide my tears in front of people.

I got there at almost 6, and my boyfriend had waited for 2 hours. I felt guilty, but he was fine. We did Magrib prayers in TVRI mosque, parked the motorcycle, and walked to JCC, Senayan. There were a lot of teenagers with orange costume gather to support their team. We kept walking and he held my hand all night. Then I felt safe.

We entered to Mega Bazaar Consumer Show 2014 to get notebook for me. It was the last night so it was quite crowded. He chose patiently and I just could stare to them because I didn't understand much about gadget. After looking around and thinking for twice and thrice, I made my choice. It was difficult because I didn't have plan to buy one on that month for saving. But I really needed it. I borrowed his for my study for 6 months. Sorry.

So, the new fighter already came to mama to replace my Prince William. It was like self-investment and dream came true because it was my dreaming notebook that I gifted to myself. I loved the size, I loved the weight, I loved the specification. Thank Allah :') I promised to learn diligently.

It was 10 pm. The front door of TVRI building had closed. We were confused how to take the motorcycle parked there. Fortunately, the side door still opened and the guards were so nice. The road was still long to reach Bintaro. My legs were painful but I knew he was more tired than me.

And trust me, every Saturday would be so long afterwards...

***

Now, I just can't sleep. I am excited but my mind is still wandering around. I keep thinking about every possibility coming, and asking for God's hug to give me strength. Poor me, my eyes swollen in the morning.

"... faidza 'azamta fatawakkal 'alallah, innallaha yuhibbul mutawakkilin (QS. 3:159) - Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust.

***

And for anything will happen... hello again new fighter laying on the desk! Please cooperate and back up me for days ahead, yes :)

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